


Space Monsters Dinosaurs Ghosts

by ironic_boner



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dinosaurs, Ghosts, M/M, Scientific Inaccuracies, space, space travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6671083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironic_boner/pseuds/ironic_boner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is trying to get back to his home planet, Camelot. Only problem? Dinosaurs are chasing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space Monsters Dinosaurs Ghosts

Arthur has a goal. It's a simple goal, really. You wouldn't think it would be too hard to accomplish. His goal is just to get back to his home planet, Camelot, alive.

There's nothing between him and Camelot except about half a lightyear of space. The problem is what's BEHIND him: a spaceship ten times the size of his own, filled with genetically-modified monstrous dinosaurs who want nothing more than to kill him. Arthur doesn't know if he can outrun them back to Camelot. He doesn't even know if he SHOULD - what if he leads them there and the dinosaurs attack his people as well?

Arthur hunches in his captain's chair (he's the captain because he's the only one aboard), and looks back and forth between the speed control and the weapons. He's just decided to try and blow the dinosaur monsters out of space - even though this spacecraft, which he was forced to buy a few weeks ago when his old ship broke down, is especially poorly equipped - and put his hands on the controls to turn around and fight, when his computer flashes a message at him.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU.

"What the hell?" Arthur demands. Even if someone had hacked into his computer, he isn't close enough to ANY lifeforms for them to respond to his actions that quickly. Well, except the dinosaurs, but he's pretty sure they're too dumb to hack into his computer.

He smashes some keys in an attempt to gain back control of his computer.

HEY, RUDE. I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE HERE.

Arthur's spacecraft takes a slight left.

"Holy shit, that's the asteroid field," Arthur says. "You're aiming at the asteroids! You're going to kill me!"

NOT GOING TO KILL US. There's a pause, then, WELL, I MAY TECHNICALLY BE DEAD ALREADY. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO KILL YOU.

They're speeding towards the asteroids. Arthur tries to adjust the direction, the speed, anything, but he's no longer in control.

RELAX, his computer tells him, as the first asteroid speeds past. I'VE GOT THIS.

He's - they're? - heading straight at another asteroid. Arthur screams, "Look out!"

YOUR LACK OF FAITH IN ME IS INSULTING.

They speed past the asteroid, just barely missing it.

"My lack of faith? In the suicidal program that's taken over my spaceship? Yeah, sorry for that!"

GHOST, NOT PROGRAM. AND IT WAS MY SPACESHIP FIRST.

"You're a ghost?" Arthur repeats disbelievingly. He's almost distracted from the asteroids speeding towards them from what seems like all directions, closing in.

YUP. OOH, LOOK BEHIND US!

Arthur whirls to stare at the screen showing what's behind the spacecraft. The dinosaur monsters have clearly followed them into the asteroid field. But they're much larger, and they don't have an insane ghost piloting them through the field. As Arthur watches, the dinosaur monsters' spacecraft bursts into flames. Something flies by the front window of his spacecraft - it looks like a flaming dinosaur head.

"Holy shit," Arthur says. "You saved my life."

TOLD YOU SO.

His spacecraft is still moving without Arthur's input. Arthur's much calmer as it navigates through the asteroids now, though. This ghost clearly knows what he's doing.

"Well. Thanks," Arthur says. "Er, I'm Arthur, by the way."

I KNOW. YOU TALK TO YOURSELF A LOT. There's a short pause. I'M MERLIN.

"Nice to meet you," Arthur says. 

They're out of the asteroid field by now, speeding through empty space.

I'D SAY THE SAME TO YOU, Merlin says. BUT I FEEL LIKE I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU VERY WELL OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS. ;)

"You're weird and creepy," Arthur says, although he can't help grinning.

HEY. I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE. YOU CAN'T INSULT ME, CLOTPOLE.

Arthur laughs. "All right. Take me back to Camelot?" he asks.

OF COURSE, MY LIEGE.


End file.
